Living with The Twits

Take your time to read about one of the biggest bastards I’ve ever met: my former landlord, the owner of the apartment in which I rented a room in the first quarter. First of all, I´m not the type of guy that´s easily pissed off by people. I respect people for who they are and I realize that everybody is different. So when someone makes me so angry that I write an article about him on my weblog, you can safely say that person deserves it.

I don't respect this man anymore, but I do respect privacy, so I call him M from now on. When I first met M, he seemed like a perfect landlord. He also lived in the apartment, so you should really be able to get along. There was also another student there: Tine. Tine is one of the sweetest girls I've ever met in my life. We could immediately get along. Now, M also had a girlfriend, named K. M and K are around 40 years old, but from the beginning they behaved like 18-years olds being in love, cuddling and all that stuff. Which was okay, old people need love as well, and they were after all a new couple. In the beginning I used to talk to M a lot. Tine as well, she lived in the house for 2,5 years already. We ate next to him. M did his best to talk in English, because he wanted to learn it. M and K even invited me to drink a glass of Rum sometimes. And even though he was the nerdy type of man, his charming eccentric behaviour kind of made him pretty cool. He was also very relaxed and he didn't have very much rules. Everything goes as long as you respect each other.

But all that changed after 1,5 month. It first started when I left a lamp burning in the corridor. He came out of his room and started nagging about it. Tine heard it as well and she was surprised, but we thought he just had a bad mood that day. But after that it became worse and worse. Whenever he had a bad mood he always found some reason to unleash his anger, whether it were some food someone left in the oven or the refrigerator door that was left open. And he didn´t say it in a nice way. He would run into my room to start screaming like Hitler. He made both me and Tine feel like we were unwelcome and that we were between him and his happy relationship with K.

And suddenly he even made rules. He wanted us to clean every little cup or spoon that we used and leave nothing in the kitchen. Even if it was for one day. We also had to clean the house every three weeks. And he wanted me to take less time to shower. Now this was fair, because he´s the owner of the house and I respect that. Except for the fact that he didn´t stick to the rules himself! He left all of his dirty plates and cooking pottery on the sink and in the bathroom there was a variety of insects that it would even startle biologists. To make it even worse: the shower was broken so I had a forced warm-cold shower every morning, the toilet didn’t flush so I had to throw a bucket of water in it, the internet was regularly down, the heating didn’t work properly and the tap was broken so we had to clean every little spoon that we used with cold water.

After a while M had some news: he was going to marry K and they wanted the house for their own. Which was okay. I even congratulated them and said I’m going to find a new house as soon as possible. I thought it was a rash decision to get married after having a relationship for two months, but I really meant it when I wished them good luck. I was even reassured, because I thought now that he finally got it out he was going to be friendly again. But no…the terrorizing continued. K was almost there every day, so I had the feeling I was living with The Twits (the nasty couple from a famous children's book by Roald Dahl, see this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Twits).

Now I wasn’t a lot at home anyway. Most of the time I went straight to bed after I came from school. But Tine was unfortunate enough to be in her holiday, in which she had to study. She was literally chased away by M. The few times I was at home I’ve regularly seen her in tears because of M’s crazy mood swings. She almost moved in the house of a friend because she couldn’t stand it anymore. Fortunately, she found a new room and she's very happy now.

The last months I was there I had a very intimidating attitude towards M. He probably noticed my sudden change of attitude and he actually tried to be nice. Which is the obvious thing to do if you’re over 40 and there’s a 29-year old kickboxer in your house. But although he tried to be nice, I never forgave him for the way he treats people.

Now he finally did it. He got us both out. I hope that when he reads this post, he’s going to think about his behaviour. But I don’t think so. He probably doesn’t even know that he’s been like that. This kind of people live in their own world. If somebody criticises them, it’s not because they are wrong. No, no, it’s because “the others are jealous”. In other words, M was only friendly in the beginning because it was the most convenient for him at that moment. After all, me and Tine payed rent to the money hungry, egocentric son of a bitch. But I believe that in the end an attitude like that isn’t going to work for him. As for me, I’m better off now. I’m living in one of the best neighbourhoods of Hamburg, I have my own apartment with fellow student Emilia, and I even pay less rent than before. M changed from a charming, social person to a pathetic, self-overrating loser. I can’t imagine anyone with that personality being happy. And an impulsive marriage is not going to change that.